Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

A classic and unique self-help book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon-free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always..." or "women just don't understand...". Instead, he says: "Venusians are from a different planet, therefore..." or "Martians need...". This in itself is a worthwhile tactic, removing blame and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.

He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that people in relationships say to their partners, what is intended, what is actually heard. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.

The tone of the book is always helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the typical self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies. All in all, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine

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Great Guidebook - Rated
A lot has been said already about this book over the years since it first hit the shelves, and I'm not sure I can offer any new information. I believe everybody should either read this book or books like it. We all need a greater understanding; not just of others (our partners, family and friends), but also of ourselves.

The more compatible a couple naturally is the better they will get on. That's just logical. But sometimes we need to be aware of, and reminded of, the differences between men and women so they ae are more tolerant and understanding; particularly during rough patches of life.

Dr. John Gray offers a great insight into these differences and tackles the subject matter in an informative, but at the same time, light-hearted and fun manner. I enjoyed this book. Some of the information I already knew, but there were definitely new insights I learner and understood better regarding men and women. I regularly find myself refering to this text to remind myself of these differences, and to remember to be more tolerant and understanding.

How To Keep Your Man: And Keep Him For Good

Real Life Dramas - Volume One: 1

Darren G. Burton

Words of Wisdom - Rated
This book probably won't seem terribly relevant if you are in the first flush of romance. But if you hope to be in a relationship for the long haul, then this is the book for you. It changed my marriage immesurably for the better and throws light on how to communicate what you want effectively and without becoming angry or defensive. John Gray hits the nail on the head so many times, my husband and I learned a huge amount about what makes us tick and why we behave the way we do. While this was written before scientific research confirmed the differences between male and female brains, work done since has backed up Dr Gray's theories and he has written a number of more up to date volumes since. A little repetitive toards the end but Highly Recommended, none the less.

A lot of good information - Rated
I agree with many of the previous reviews that the differences Gray has observed in men and women are contained in the first few chapters and the rest of the book goes on to illustrate these. I also agree that the book makes sweeping statements and assumptions about gender behaviour and ways men and women think. It also assumes that all men are broadly the same, and that likewise all women are also broadly the same, which is clearly not the case.

However, unlike virtually anything else written on the subject anywhere, the book is actually based upon genuine empirical research undertaken by Gray (despite his dubious PhD qualification) into the way real people behave, and so has a great deal of value. There are also many second-rate `copy-cat' publications out there which say the same kind of things, but I think this is the best book on the subject. I personally believe that both men and women display much of the behaviours described here and so we can all learn how to relate better with each other.

Although sound research on the subject is almost totally lacking, I personally believe that 90+% of the differences described are due to external factors and social conditioning, and are not genetic. The key thing here is to make use of the suggestions and solutions provided, and improve the way we behave to our nearest and dearest and reap the benefits!

Good, but... - Rated
I really enjoyed the first couple of chapters; they were well-written, informative and really quite interesting. Unfortunately, the rest of the book regurgitates the same information, making for a dull read. Still, I'd recommend this book (if you can get it for a good price) if only for the first couple of chapters.

So generalised to be totally inaccurate and completely unhelpful - Rated
I read this book when I was on holiday with relatives and bored, and found it useless. This book attempts to pigeonhole men and women by assigning them characteristics. Yes, I've known women who've ranted at someone about a problem and taken umbrage when a solution has been offered, but I've known men who've done the same. And I've known rude men who will demand "Make me an egg for breakfast!" and likewise rude women, to quote two examples from the book. This book attempts to attribute character flaws, such as rudeness, vagueness, disagreeableness, to gender and does not take into account any individuality of the concerned parties. Assuming the information in the book is correct and acting on the instructions offered could very likely damage a relationship. If people want to improve their communication with their partners, I suggest they talk to them and find out more about them, or at least use a scientifically accredited psychological theory with individual application such as the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator.