helpful book for any family dealing with the dementing illnesses of old age - Rated 
This is a very readable book written by the wife of a man who developed Alzheimer's disease at a young age, when their children ranged from infancy to age 12. She taught herself to cope with his condition, and now lectures and advocates for the patients, the caretakers of the patients, and their families. The book is strong on the day to day care of the demented patients, how to help them stay engaged with the world, how to help them retain speech and their remaining abilities as long as possible. She sees them as people for as long as they live, and wants their families, caretakers and society to see them that way too. It is very strong in its compassion and loving good heartedness, and in seeing these demented, often paranoid, confused, sometimes combative persons as the person he or she once was, not as they seem to be now.
She brings up excellent points: that no longer do experts try to bring the disoriented or confused person "back to reality", for example, if a patient thinks her father who died in 1950 visited her don't argue or try to "re-orient" her on this subject. It is not worth upsetting the person, has no long term value, and needlessly confuses and worries the person. The same with combative behavior, in most cases a change in subject, or distraction, rather than physical over powering or medical sedation is better,more kind and gentle, and keeping a log of what triggers such behavior can defuse it in the future.
This book does have some problems for me, as a caretaker for a parent with early dementia. The author seems to assume the caretaker has no other job, or life for that matter, and that there are others to pitch in and help with the caretaking chores, and funds to hire helpers. Some of her suggestions, the long leisurely breakfasts, rides in the country, reviewing old scrapbooks, or retraining the person with little games she provides (which sound excellent by the way) are frustrating for the caregiver whose time is limited by constraints of work or another family's needs as well. There is enough guilt in this caretaking situation without having to deal with chapters headed: "Enrich the Patient's Life".
Nevertheless, it is a very good book and its consistant re-focus on the humanity of the patient makes it stand out among books of its kind.
I'd pair it with the book "Mayo Clinic on Alzheimer Disease" which goes much more thoroughly into the aspect of dementia as an illness, what goes wrong in the brain and body, current medications, testing, and so on---this book does not cover those areas. I do recommend it, but not as my first recommendation among these books but paired with the Mayo Clinic book I think you'd have a good set for knowledge of and caretaking skills of the dementing illnesses.
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