Henrietta's Dream

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An inspiration - Rated
Reading this book made me wonder how anyone would cope in these circumstances. The simple things we take for granted like getting the shopping done, finding time to get your hair cut seem almost impossible. To keep a relationship alive and find time for you without feeling guilty at leaving the children.

This book made me realise how lucky we are, and how simple my life seems compared to the struggle everyday for Henrietta. And how inspirational she is to have found the strength to cope and see the positive side.

Purely on the strength of this book, my family are in the process of volunteering with our local authority to hopefully support a family like Henrietta's, and I hope we can help make their life easier in some small way.

Mmmm - Rated
As the parent of a disabled child, I recognised so much in this book, and applaud Henrietta Spink for being a fighter because so many parents quietly suffer which is no good for anyone, including their children. If only those at Local Authorities over Britain who place disabled children somewhere below wheelie bins and bollards in their list of priorities would read this. I got a bit lost in the spirit world stuff, and it also has to be said that most parents out there don't have a nanny, a second home and Alan Titchmarsh on speed dial. However, even with some privileges, her life is tougher than most people could ever imagine and I am grateful that she has articulated this so well.

hard life - Rated
read this book to see that your life is as easy as pie. I do not know how they coped. I would have died from exhaustion. Fantastic and inspiring. Henrietta make's me feel ashamed I moan. and it has enlightened me on the ignorance of others about disability, including myself.

The Observer Review - Rated
Freddie and Henry: a mother's struggle

Henrietta Spink tells the story of her struggle to look after two children with severe disabilities in Henrietta's Dream

Liz Hoggard
Sunday July 18, 2004
The Observer

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Henrietta's Dream
by Henrietta Spink
Hodder & Stoughton £12.99, pp290
When Henrietta Spink's son Henry was born she had a vision of him as a young man silently reading in a library. A year later Henry was diagnosed as quadraplegic and it was assumed he was brain damaged (even though no scan could pick up evidence). But Spink never lost sight of her initial 'vision', even when Henry's younger brother, Freddie, was also born with chronic disabilities (they were told he would never eat, walk or talk properly). Alongside a life of washing, lifting, feeding and caring, she resolutely searched for a cure for Henry.

Founder of the Henry Spink Foundation, a charity which helps parents to cope with disabled children, Henrietta Spink comes across as part warrior, part Joyce Grenfell. And she is a fantastically tough guide - taking us through the red tape of caring for two disabled children. Friends drop away and her marriage is severely tested. Then there is the profound loneliness of having two babies who may never communicate 'normally'.

But Henrietta has no time for self-pity. She actually comes to see being the mother of two disabled children as 'a gift'. Of course it's possible to dismiss her as irredeemably posh and privileged (her relatives include The Duke of Sutherland, while her husband ran the art company, Spink and Co, later bought by Christie's). But after her parents divorced, the titled members of her family literally faded away. Today she and Michael constantly face financial ruin.

Spink is remarkably clear-sighted about her own failings. And actually she was right about her vision. Henry, now 16, has been partly 'cured', after Spink tracked down an American neuroanatomist who has been able to unlock Henry's brain to the extent that his sight has improved and he can walk with assistance. Meanwhile Freddie, 14, can walk stiffly and string together simple sentences, despite being profoundly autistic.
Of course, it's impossible not to be humbled by the challenges facing any parents of disabled children. But shame is very different from pleasure for the reader. And this book is unputdownable. It reads like a thriller: as Spink takes on a variety of irritants from politicians and high court judges to Wandsworth Council (stunningly stupid in their refusal to fund even basic assistance).

True, there are PC lapses: Spink's colourful vocabulary takes in 'fruitcakes' and 'pansyish'. She is not afraid to claim that being middle-class has made her case harder ('When you're on benefits, then we'll help,' one official told her). More controversially, she asserts that disability is beyond class. But as one who has dedicated her life to 24-hour care, you sense she has earned the right to ask unpalatable questions.

I couldn't put it down.... - Rated
I loved this book. As a mother of a special needs child myself - so much of it rang true - it was positively refreshing to hear the struggles and frustrations expressed so eloquently and with humour and honesty. This book makes easy reading and for anyone interested in life and some unexpected challenges that can be thrown at you - it is an unmissable read. I was holding it in one hand reading while trying to cook the children's dinner in the other!! Husband's are often unsung hero's in these types of stories and while Henrietta does not deny that huge pressures have been put on her marriage at times - it is an inspirsation to see how she and Micheal have been a team though their ordeals both with the medical community and with the LEA. Henry and Freddie are very fortunate to have such amazingly devoted and lovely parents!