You'RE Only Old Once

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Perfect Gift for Those Whose Social Life Is Visiting Doctors - Rated
I sometimes think that retirement is when you stop going to work full time so that you can go to doctors full time. Dr. Seuss seems to agree with that observation in this witty, beautifully illustrated book.

The book starts off like most Dr. Seuss books, beckoning you towards a far distant, wonderful land. In this case, the land is Fotta-fa-Zee where there's "no smelly bad traffic," you feel fine at 103, and your teeth and hair are kept strong by chewing nuts from the Tutt-a-Tutt Tree.

Then reality sets in. You've just been reading National Geographic about Fotta-fa-Zee while sitting in the Golden Years Clinic waiting for the physical that no one should ever have. The high point of this whole experience is talking with the fish in the aquarium as you wait, and wait, and wait for the next part of the exam. Naturally, no one will tell you anything about what they have learned from the tests. You have to see more doctors first, and take more tests.

One of my favorite parts is the eye exam near the beginning, where you get both a "eyesight and solvency test." You have to be able to see and pay for the exam to pass.

Pretty soon all of your clothes have been replaced with a gown, and you cannot easily escape even though that seems like the right thing to do. Each test seems worse than the last. The stress test adds stress as well as measuring it. You smell foods, and any that smell good are taken off your diet.

At some point, you make such an impression with your test results that they wheel you around in a wheelchair.

Pretty soon you've got so many prescriptions it takes two pages of poetry to cover all of the directions.

Before you can escape you have to fill out more forms so that the bills will be paid by your estate if you don't survive.

Dr. Seuss concludes with "you're in pretty good shape for the shape you are in." That's the most we can hope for from America's answer to afternoon tea for the Medicare set.

Having been through such check-ups myself and having a father whose retirement consists of keeping doctors in business at 84 (he calls it 21 for the 4th time), I can definitely appreciate the humor here. Hopefully, you will too.

I just wish we had stayed in Fotta-fa-Zee rather than the Doctor's office.

The satirical concept is great, but the poetry, whimsy, and illustrations make it all even better. It should cheer up anyone who spends a lot of time visiting doctors.

Banish your misconception stalls about aging and medical care with humor!

A Seuss for Me!! (the mature adult) - Rated
This is one of the funniest Seuss books because most of the stuff in it is true, well, slightly exaggerated, ok, it's zany but based on how things are. My favorite page is the one with taking the pills!

So entertaining for our "older" friends - Rated
I read this book while waiting for my husband at a Cardiologist's office. I work for a senior center, and my husband & I AREN'T getting younger. I love the way it recognizes some of the worries of elders & entertains. My copy will go to our senior center's library.

Fun and zany and all adult - Rated
A delightful and delightfully written book. But take care - this is not a book to read to your children; it is completely an ADULT book.

Brilliant work from one of the world's best satirists - Rated
Call me crazy, but I love the Seuss-meister. His work is so often overlooked in the world of satire, and too often plunked into the children's book catagories. This book was not written for kids! How quaint; how rare! He's written for gram and even gramp-air! "Only Old Once" addresses adult fears of doctors in the unique Seuss way, without being distinctly childish. He mocks the testing methods and treatments that many of us don't even want to think about. Another Seuss gem in a similar vein, is "Daisey-Head Mayzie", who also endures the poking and prodding of modern medicine, all because she was different. If you haven't read Seuss since your youngest child entered middle school, shame on you; consider yourself properly rebuked, and go get a few Cat in the Hat logoed volumes. Then curl up with a plate of green eggs and ham and let yourself go!