What Do You Say After You Say Hello?

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Not for beginners - Rated
If you are new to "transactional analysis" I would recommend that you read "I'm OK, Your OK" by Thomas A. Harris instead because it is much easier to understand than this book which I found very challenging at times. Another book which I would definitely recommend is "Counselling for Toads- A Psychological Adventure" by Robert de Board which was a very interesting read. It teaches the basics of transactional analysis through a story based on Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame.

What do you say after you say hello? - Rated
I read this book as an accompaniment to counselling several years ago and Eric Berne’s simple, elegant style had a profound effect on my psyche and the course my life took after my collision with his ideas. ‘What do you say after you say hello?’ explores the themes of script theory (more recently ‘Transactional Analysis’) - the idea that each of us follows a predetermined script, laid down by happy or bitter childhood experience. This script, built on by our parent’s preconceptions of what they want us to be, is applied by us to various interactions or events to achieve a familiar outcome. This outcome can be success or failure dependent on that which is most recognisable to us through our experiences.

More than anything stated above, what Eric Berne’s book does so well is instil in the reader the fact that change can come from within, in fact this is where the metamorphosis will begin. A true catalyst for change, and contrary to other comments made above, completely accessible to those not familiar with psychoanalytical jargon.

An important book - Rated
I read this book 15 years ago and it had a great impact. I've reo-rdered it to show it to others. Life follows script and is a game between actors. Berne explains the roles and how we can change the script if we don't like it.

Good book on the nature of human destiny (spoilers) - Rated
"What Do You Say After You Say Hello" is a sequel to Dr Eric Berne's book "Games People Play". In that book, Berne argued that human beings participate in a series of deceptive rituals and manoeuvres ('games') that hamper real communication and intimacy.

In this book, he extends that theory (transactional analysis) towards human destiny that he says is predetermined by a 'script' people compose in early childhood before they have reached six years old. This script will determine whether that person is a winner, non-winner or a loser. Berne's theory is well founded, taking into genetic, prenatal and parental influences that make up a person's life script. The aim of the book is to act as guide for fellow psychiatrists in recognizing scripts and eliminating their more negative aspects in their patients.

According to Berne, a person's childhood-written script follows closely myths and fairy tales, and the differing roles (Hero, Victim, Villain, Ally, etc) than in simple common sense. People are capable of changing their scripts, but more often than not stick by them, as this is easier to do than to effect any real change in their lives.

Berne covers all aspects of the script using popular fairy-tale analogies like Cinderella and Little Red Riding Hood to help illustrate his points. He also includes objections to the Script Theory and a Script Check List for patients.

This book should be a handbook for human psychologists and would appeal to anyone interested in psychology. Casual readers, if they can hack the terminology, might find it interesting as well.

ongoing review - Rated
I am only half way through this and it's excellent. Well written and quirky. It has hardly dated. I often think Berne would have made a great novelist and storyteller, had it not been in his script to be an innovator in psychotherapy.

The problem is not that I can't put it down , but that what he has to say is so thought provoking my brain tends to go off at a tangent every other paragraph. This makes for slow reading and I've found I can't read it in the quiet hours as it wakes me up!