I Kissed Dating Goodbye

While most Christians agree to seek purity and save sex for marriage, few have been given a blueprint for how that should affect their view of dating and love. In I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris sets out to expose the "Seven Habits of Highly Defective Dating", and offers a realistic outline of how to have a biblical vision of marriage. Harris contends that one must begin with a new attitude, viewing love, purity and singleness from God's perspective rather than thinking that love and romance are things to be enjoyed "solely for recreation". In such well-named chapters as "Guarding Your Heart" and "What Matters at Fifty", Harris encourages the reader to look at one's character rather than revelling in infatuation and to regard love as a truly selfless, biblical act rather than a feeling. Harris refutes the concept that we are victims of "falling in love" (that it is beyond our control), saying that "God wants us to seek guidance from scriptural truth, not feeling. Smart love looks beyond personal desires and the gratification of the moment. It looks at the big picture: serving others and glorifying God". Before you roll your eyes, moaning that this sounds terribly unromantic, know that Harris does a superb job of couching his convictions in the sincere belief that if we are purposeful in our singleness and date with integrity, a fulfilled marriage awaits us--in God's timing. --Jill Heatherly

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Challenges Everything Culture tells us is Normal! - Rated
Joshua Harris is an incredibly Godly man who challenges the entire western dating culture in this book. Many people are very against what he has to say in this book, I know because originally I used to be one of them. However although I didn't agree with what he was saying I think I read this entire book in one or maybe two sittings. I just couldn't put it down.

Joshua Harris challenged me to examine my own views and datings and to put things into perspective with biblical teaching in the bible. I would recommend to anyone raising kids, READ THIS BOOK! I would have loved to have read this when I was younger as I think it would have made a big impact on my spiritual maturity at a younger age! There is nothing more important in life than focusing on God! He is going to be our only concern in eternity and whether you dated or not will not be important.

After reading this book for a 2nd time I did actually find that after God being at work in my life, I agreed with the principles within the pages, they just made sense.....perhaps it was just my unwillingness to give my love life over to God that seemed scary. I can say from personal experience that since I have done that, my love life is far better than I ever dreamt it would be! And the best part is I don't need to worry about anything because God has the entire thing under control!

This book goes into detail about what God has to say about the bible and also practical advice from Joshua Harris on relationships and perhaps what biblical relationships have looked like in his opinion.
God does work in all situations but this book definitely gets one thinking into what God's best is in your love life!

Very good read it - Rated
I approached this book with a bad attitude and almost ran a mile when a friend recommended it. After reading the first chapter i thought the ideas were over ambitious to say the least. After completing the book a recommend it 100%. All christians who are serious about having a relationship with the opposite sex without compromising their relationships with GOD NEED GODLY WISDOM. This book provides it

Essential for any single person - Rated
This book is all the things my mother should have told me, but didn't! At first I thought it was silly and impractical, but I carried on reading and began to see real value in the author's views. It isn't preachy or condescending, and contains a lot of wisdom; contemporary methods of dating often lead to more harm than good, usually because of the motives behind the dating. Harris explains these reasons well and gives practical advice. Having been through painful experiences with relationships in the past, I found it extremely helpful; if only I had read it 10 years ago!

Very Challenging - Rated
When I read this book, I was superficially uncomfortable with many of the ideas, but found myself deep down agreeing with nearly everything in it. His view about not even considering romantic relationships until one is ready for marriage makes so much sense.

However, there is one underlying flaw throughout the book (hence 4 stars): I doubt Harris would have written this book or even come up with the radical views had he not experienced the whole dating and relationship scene. Therefore he has learned from hindsight which means that those dating relationships he had did serve a purpose after all. This begs the following questions:

Is it important to have experience of dating relationships in order to make a wise choice when it comes around to finding a marriage partner?

If so, then how much experience?

Can the same lessons be learned without entering into relationships?

Being such a highy personal issue, the answers are bound to be different from person to person.

Life-changing - Rated
I agree with another reviewer who said they wished they had read this at a younger age. I read it at age 17 and had already been through unfathomable amounts of pain in relationships I am still recovering from. I particularly recommend this book to young Christians- it will overwhelm you with its ideas. I am now 20 and in a very loving God-centered relationship; this book has been an immense inspiration to my boyfriend and I. (Also highly recommend Boy Meets Girl the followup!)