Overcoming Social Anxiety

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy treats emotional disorders by changing negative patterns of thought. Gillian Butler, a consultant clinical psychologist and Fellow of the British Psychological Society, has condensed into this well-written, very readable book effective techniques for overcoming conditions such as panic attacks, depression, anxiety and addictions. Everyone who has ever felt disempowered by their embarrassment or lack of confidence, will benefit from reading this book--understanding your emotions means that it is possible to effectively manage and accept them.

The book is divided into three sections: Part One which explains social anxiety, the role of this fear, its origins and what actually happens when social anxiety strikes; Part Two gives a complete practical guide to overcoming these feelings, changing thinking patterns, reducing self- consciousness and building confidence; Part Three gives some "optional extras" such as explaining the legacy of being bullied and about how to learn to relax.

This book is engrossing and intriguing and a very worthy addition to the bookshelf of those with an interest in human behaviour and social interaction. It will help to treat and defeat very crippling, entrenched problems right through to the usual, mild feelings of discomfort and social shyness experienced by everyone at some time--this book can be recommended for people who want to improve their networking and business interaction skills also. --Alison Jardine

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So so - Rated
This book is not bad, but it's not very good either. The book is detailed and gives a good description of what social anxiety and shyness is and how it develops and continues, but it is missing something. In some parts the book is painfully dry. I think I'll need to see a professional to help me overcome my problems.

Excellent CBT book - Rated
Very well structured in terms of explaining what social anxiety is, how it originates and how to begin dealing with it. There is also a chapter at the end on Bullying. I'd recommend this to anyone with SA and also the other books in the series on self esteem and depression - Life changing stuff, A Must for anyone with Social Anxiety.

Didn't work for me... - Rated
I had high hopes for this book after reading the glowing reviews on here, but it didn't live up to my expectations. It is very good at describing what it's like to suffer social anxiety and I found myself thinking 'that's me, I feel like that' as I read. However I couldn't get to grips with the solutions suggested e.g. if you are feeling self conscious, you can solve it by deciding not to. It takes a look on the bright side approach and suggests you think about the flip side of situations e.g. everyone's looking at me versus actually, noone is looking at you. The author also states 'being bullied can have lasting effects' and I found myself thinking 'yes, I know that thanks, but what can I do about it?'. This book was good at describing how it feels to be socially anxious but didn't help me overcome the horrible stomach churning tension and desire to run away from such encounters, nor the constant worrying and reflecting that goes with having social anxiety.

excellent book! - Rated
I have read variuos books on this topic as I am chronically shy. I shall be reading it again as there are so many things that you would have missed the first time round. If you are shy and really just want someone to tell eactly what to do and how to take the first step to recovery than this is the only book that I have found that does just that.

Great place to start learning about SA - Rated
I've seen this book mentioned many times as a good self-help guide on two online SA communities (www.social-anxiety.org.uk and www.sascotland.co.uk) and on reading it I would recommend it to any SA sufferer. In particular, I think it would be really helpful for someone new to the topic of Social Anxiety, perhaps not sure whether or not they have it, and unclear about how they could use techniques from self-help CBT. There's lots of information here I am familiar with through learning from several web sites, but this book is a real timesaver - it might not have all you need to know about SA, but more than enough to understand your problem and begin to think of possible solutions. The book makes liberal use of lists of key points in bullet-point format, and has many boxes with examples of the terms being discussed, so it's quite understandable too. Rather than just use a jargon term such as "avoidance behaviour" it gives practical examples which you can then see if they apply to you.
For someone new to the subject just being able to recognise "Yes, that's what I've got" can be really helpful. Getting out of denial is the first step to tackling a problem you might have allowed to grow unchecked for years. SA has many signs and symptoms, affecting multiple areas - how you think, how you behave, on your body and emotions. This book helps you understand how these areas are interrelated, how they affect each other, and hence the things that need to be done to tackle the problem. It shows how many "vicious circles" are maintained - an example of a cycle would be

Avoid conversations with people -> Dread conversations -> Tend to blush when they happen -> Avoid the next conversation

Breaking out of these cycles of thinking/ feeling/ acting forms a major part of the book, which is divided into:-
" Changing thinking patterns
" Doing things differently
" Reducing self-consciousness
" Building up confidence (this can also occur through non-social activities)
These four sets of activities all complement each other, and can create a "virtuous circle" where even a small amount of time regularly spent can produce dramatic improvement. Examples are given of CBT-type exercises you can complete (I'd recommend buying a workbook or jotter to complete these in one place, rather than using scrap paper) such as a Thought Record, simply a table where you fill out each of the following categories:-
" Specific situation (think of a situation in which you use a safety behaviour)
" Prediction (what will happen if you do not keep yourself safe? How will you know if it happens?)
" Experiment (How will you find out? What will you do differently?)
" What actually happened? (What did you observe? Stick to the facts.)
" Conclusions (What does this mean?)
After the event you can then re-think your original belief - e.g. asking yourself how much you believe it now (from 0-100 per cent).

The book gives many examples of how our thinking can be faulty (all or nothing thinking, assuming the worst etc) and also how we can substitute better thoughts for the faulty ones (e.g. by thinking what a helpful friend or parent would say to you, or what you would say to a friend who had the same problem). Changing our perspective in this way can be really helpful, and I think it's similar to the idea of "self-parenting" where we come up with our own solutions and more positive ways of thinking about something.

A good idea the book gives is to create "flashcards" with a belief, assumption or negative thought on one side of the small card and a more healthy perspective in response on the other side. I think this would be really helpful for someone wanting to do something they found anxiety provoking (going to a family occasion, meeting someone of the opposite sex). As we all know, in the middle of a stressful situation the negative thoughts and feelings flow easily and thinking up a positive replacement can be much more difficult - having some "Blue Peter" examples which you prepared earlier could be really helpful.

The book is thoroughly grounded in good research and filled with practical advice - there wasn't anything I read that jarred with me or I viewed as author bias. At the same time the book was a little dry to read, not especially motivational for me, and I had the same feeling about completing the CBT exercise as I would about regularly eating oat bran - no doubt good for me but not especially fun. However the more I got into the book the more the tasks required seemed manageable, and believable, and I can see myself applying them in the coming months. If I spent even 30 minutes a day, five times a week, for two months I'm convinced I would progress a lot, so I'm "sold" on the concept of CBT in that sense.

I would say if someone was feeling very depressed they would probably be better off getting treatment for the depression before tackling CBT, and equally if someone felt able to do positive things (such as attending an SA meet or going out and doing something with friends) they'd be better off doing that than staying at home completing CBT exercises. For people in between, however, I think the exercises would be tremendously helpful. If you're not in a position to do anything social at the moment this book is excellent preparation for taking those first steps. If you are feeling a little better, are getting out a bit more, and feeling a bit brighter in general, I think this book will really complement and reinforce what you are doing. No hesitation in recommending this book for anyone with SA, or for anyone wanting to understand and help an SA friend or relative.